go be a snail

is it the rain and bad weather these days that cats are in the heat and the presence of so many bitches around?

lately been hearing really farked up stories about bitches and also the many moaning and groaning of my neighbourhood's cats. sure, i always link horny mating rituals to the cool and damp weather. the snails at xj's n'hood always come out and do the dirty on the pavement, albeit rather dangerously. i've seen so many crushed snail shells to tell u that they prob get their arousal from the dangerous games they play.

snails are not the only creatures. cats in xj and even my n'hood suddenly got the hots for each other. not only have i stood at a corner to watch the mating dance of the felines, i also frighten the hell out of them just when they're about to have fun. muahaha...im a dirty farker.

don't get me wrong. i love cats. in fact, i prefer them over dogs who are too eager to please their owners. at least felines have their style and gracefully give u their version of the middle finger when u interrupt them. man, they are cool. that's why people who plot and scheme and are just basically mean do not deserve to be little kitties. god must have his reason for calling these arses bitches.

bitches sar kah to their owners, giving the cute puppy eye look whenever the owner calls it out to play.

owner: oh bitch, let's go for a walk!
bitch: woof woof! (yes master!) *cute puppy eyes while licking the smelly sneakers of its owner and making a fool of herself*

but these same bitches bark farking loudly when they realise they are being threatened.

(while out on a walk)
owner: aww, aint this kitty cute?*picks up a kitten*
bitch: grrrrhhh!! woof woof woof!!!( bloody asshole! dont go and act innocent and take my master away! wait later i bite u den u know!)

a bitch's bark is louder than its bite? i dunno....but i like to think of my dear as a graceful cat watching and learning and when the farking bitch comes too near, it better get prepared for a vicious bitch slap.

the first time, i heard of her first indiscretion, i thot it was the time of the month. but it never stopped. thankfully, ******'s resourceful enough to skirt around. i really dun think the fucking bitch can do what she did.

let me end this with a curse...

i hope this fucked up excuse of a woman, who bloody thinks she's a chio bu, gets a spasm when she's having sex and may she never reach orgasm. and in her next life, let her be a snail and die trying to fuck on the pavement.

bloody chee bye. :)