Route without Horizons - Bunga!!!

The days leading to the new year was probably one of the best ways i ever ended any year. Knowing full well that my new year was probably going to be spent either nicely tucked in my bed in singapore, tired from the ride or in the worse case, along the north-south highway, i decided to take the chance to go touring for the first time ever since i started work. and it proved one of the best decisions of the year.

Malaysia Route Map

the route we were about to take was punishing. much of the route would be to explore the mountain range roads along northern malaysia which hugs the malaysia-thai border. The gerik highway (west-east highway) is reputed by many singapore and malaysian bikers to be one of the best and most scenic routes u can find in malaysia with an appealing mixture of nice big sweeps to tight twisties. being nature lovers as well, it offers us a relatively unspolit view of the great reserves in northern malaysia from the dizzy heights of mountain roads.

Pushing all the way on the north south highway from 1am in GP esso, we would hopefully reach the kuala kangsar exit around sunrise. after an hour's rest and catching up on some much needed sleep in Tapah R&R, we headed straight for the exit to Kuala Kangsar which would lead us straight to Gerik along highway 76 and the destination for the first night, Banding Island Resort on Pulau Banding (where else...kekeke).

Perak

By the time we were at tapah R&R, i was so deadbeat (not riding for so long has taken its toll...me and xj used to be able do 1200km in a day) that my extreme hunger was ignored. Lenggong (halfway from kuala kangsar to Gerik town) is the place for breakfast as isaac had been there abt 3 years ago and was familiar with that area. indeed, it was such a quaint little place with picturesque sights and having nice piping hot prata al fresco style completes the package. it was said that anna and the king was filmed around the area as the beauty of the place with its calm waterways were mostly untouched.

Lenggong's causeway with water on both sides of the road (the buses and lorries were speeding round the corners like jay in initial D)

Parked along the 'causeway'

the 3 musketeers

taking in the sights (isaac and cysiong)

indulging in some vanity here

a quick trip to the muzium arkeologi lenggong nearby provided us also with the historical background of perak's or even malaysia's first inhabitants, the perak man. (something like the more famous peking man) that was actually quite a fruitful stop as we caught up on some really good air-conditioning in an otherwise hot and humid morning, made worse with our thick jackets.

Off we went again, this time another stop to take pics with something u'll prob wun see much of. a 'wild elephant crossing' sign..........hahah...wat a joke..i really doubt any one would have seen a wild elephant crossing the dang road...though cows are not uncommon.



The route to banding island wasn't really fantastic though it had some nice sweeping bends, though we couldnt lean much with our slower speed in the trunk roads. dear thot that the route up to banding was the gerik highway and wondered wats so great about since there was little to marvel at except a few spots along the way....but she never knew.....

the twisties and scenery along the way

Soon enuff, we reached our destination for the night. having ridden almost 800km to reach here, the end product certainly didn't disappoint. The eagle eyed peeps amongst you would probably be asking. 'A pulau (island) in the mainland?' yup, right smack in the state of perak is tasik (lake) temenggor, which i believe is the largest in malaysia. (circled in the map of perak)

nearing Pulau Banding

1200ft above sea level

the length of the lake is almost the width of singapore! a dam built fairly recently caused much
of the lowlands to be drowned leaving only wat used to be the summits of mountain ranges as islands. Pulau Banding is serviced by two bridges, one in and one out joining 'mainland' malaysia. naturally, the whole area, with its long ranges and excellent wildlife, became a reserve.

the bridge to pulau banding

Home for the night was banding island resort and it seemed that we were the only occupants for the day. a quick chat with the employees revealed that weekends were the only times where they would be filled with more pple, namely from KL and Penang.

View from our room

the resort

having seen the receptionist area, something caught my eye. Eco tours such as boat rides and treks can be organised and guess wat. Rafflesia flowers are sighted in the region!! none other by the natives, the orang asli still living in 'relative' obscurity, hunting and growing their own food in the vast expanse of the reserve.



having decided on the boat ride after much negotiating with the organisers, we were off on a boat ride to possibly see the biggest species of flower in the world.

boat ride (im playing with the gps..next item on my wanted list)

sure enuff, we stopped after half an hour of slicing through the waters and came to an enbankment. a ten minute trek brought us quite a sight. first off, we saw elephant tracks which were hardened, indicating that they were here a few days ago.

young elephant's tracks

den the reason why they were there was revealed. on a steep slope on one of the face of a hill, we saw the rafflesia flower. the only time i saw a rafflesia flower was in primary school textbooks, exclaiming that it is the biggest flower in the world. they were only to be found in the island of borneo in sabah and sarawak, so having seen them in peninsula malaysia is quite a pleasant surprise. They are not as humungous as their borneo counterparts but still huge nonetheless and apparently, elephants love to eat their buds.

the flower up close (the bud is on the top left of the flower)

knowing that there are wild elephants in that island ready to pop out anytime was already an exciting prospect, though the experience of seeing the flower made it perfect. and finally...no...the flower doesnt eat insects or man and it doesnt stink after it has bloomed. it only stinks during blooming.

small flower compared to the man sized ones in borneo

i wondered if i could touch the flower since it looks so puffy, but our guide said it might not cause the buds to bloom. anyway, i think it might just be a way of leaving the flora 'untouched' as they say, and i gladly obliged.

out we went and next stop was an orang asli settlement. my impression of natives would be unkempt and wild pple, naked childen running everywhere and stuff like dat. but no, their settlement show signs of social bonding and camadamerie with homes built in an open concept and a huge elevated hall for, wat i assume, for village gatherings. the men were out hunting but the village headman entertained us with his blowpipe skills.

the settlement

showing off his array of darts, which were numbered and marked, he pointed his crusty finger to the dark blob at the tip of the dart. an anasthetic from a plant was smeared onto the tip and it's potency is so strong it could knock u out in 2 seconds, claimed the headman. and i tended to believe him. the tip of the dart would remain in the victim while the rest of the stick ( thinner and weaker than a satay stick) breaks off, making it very hard to pull out the poisoned tip. the other side is made of some lotus look alike pod with a firm yet soft texture.

the unpoisoned dart (poisoned ones have a dark blue tip)

pointing his blowpipe at a hard tree some 15 metres away, a 'thunk!' reverberated and we were all stunned. some 10cm of a farking weaker than satay stick actually penetrated into the tree! the headman explained further that they have stronger darts for the bigger animals. an invitation to blow was declined as we had tried it before some other place and also, his mouth piece was put everywhere from his feet to the ground.

groovy baby yeah!

hygiene isnt a particularly important issue for these guys as i saw swarms of houseflies hovering around their unused utensils in the main house. well, at least these guys have TV, a hi-fi system and a satellite dish from 'astro' (malaysia's scv)! yup, modernity have crept into their lives, much as we want them to remain obscure. with that we headed back for some much needed rest and dinner

that boat ride took almost 3 hours in total and we greeted the shower with great joy.

the end of the day and a beautiful sunset from our room.....

and there's no better way to unwind after a hard day's work with malaysia's hidden gems. tigers!!




stay tuned for Route without Horizons - Gajah!!(Day two) where a surprise awaits....

December

last month was so spectacular that i simply had
a) no time to write all i want
b) too tired to write all i want
c) too lazy to write all i want.

spectacular u ask? why of course, it's fucking december , for god's sake. it's only when u started working that u realise that christmas IS indeed uplifting , both psychologically and physically. (no, not wat u horny bastards are thinking)

the air would be thick with anticipation of gifts that u hope u get or rather hint that you'll get and all these make going to work that little bit more bearable. Knowing that I was about to embark on my first major trip ever since i started working made it even sweeter. In between the days to christmas, frerin's birthday dinner at JB was simply so good and enjoyable that i wish his birthday was every month. check that event out in his blog for the trilogy of frerin and his merry men's adventures in JB in the 24th dec entry.

Instead, let me loose on the christmas night and wat i think is the best way to end off the old year. (next few entries for THOSE brilliant days rounding up an otherwise sad 2005)

paulaner's is a german pub cum restaurant serving some seriously fresh german beer. (it had to be. they had a microbrewery in the freaking place!) larry the hairy and his little skinny girl joined us for dinner and my oh my, wat a huge place it was with old european classical furniture, possibly to emulate some old fuddy duddy german restaurant. heads up to the crew though for bringing up some cheer in their otherwise serious looking furniture with party hats, and a whole catalogue of party whistles, blowers and pops. i like this particularly ugly one of a lip which gave this dumb sounding noise. it's so dumb i love it.

Pacifier for the night

Me and Rach wanted to come this restaurant so much, especially after partaking in some good 'ole fashion partying during October's Erdinger OktoberFest in FarEAst Square. Pork knuckles, naturally, became the focus of attention and it didn't disappoint. the rough texture of the deep fried skin gave a hint of how crisp it was and the succulent meat (or fats, rather) ooze with just so much fragrance and oil. SLurp!!! i concentrated on eating it so much that i didn't take any picture of it though...doh!

Dear's HotDog Delight

The beer was also pretty delicious, with me being the only man on the table bringing the dark version. wat a disappointing larry the hairy...hahahah...

"The shirt says Jeep not Beer"

AFter dinner was the customary gift exchange and we felt proud that we got something that both of them love to have. Who says christmas is all about receiving! while we got reminders of their birthyear.....our very first "piggy" bank. double doh! hahaha...i really love hanging out with them cos we're really like elder brother and sister to them, though we're really on a same level.

Mabbe that's why we're on the same level

the next move was a mistake cos we thot it would be great to take some pictures along orchard road and down we zipped to park at borders. but the crowd was so humongous that i crossed the road back straight to borders to get some fresh air. My..we're really getting old.

having other appointments, we split up and i headed straight to frerin's dwarfess' abode for the countdown and yet another gift exchange.

straight we went for the house and we're immediately drawn to the mini karaoke system in the living room. One word. Power.

after chilling the wine and settling down, we gathered for the gift exchange and another one word for boo's gift. chibuais! looking at the pathtic wrapping paper and the dimensions of the box, i knew straightaway wat the cockanaden bought. Some say he bought a chocolate bar while others think it's a case or something. but one look from the fugly wrapping paper (a mirror like paper with coloured stripes, namely, blue yellow and red, go figure), i knew it was from a downstairs bookstore that sells parker pens. Indeed, it was a parker pen. and the wrapping paper was free from the bookstore, which i heavily suspected was kept there for eons. muahahhahahahah... only boo can do it.

when all of us looked and speculated at the presents, poor boo's gift was shunned by all but himself. and while the rules of the gift exchange was that we couldn't get our own thing, someone had to make the sacrifice. and the sacrificial lamb was frerin. boo was looking apologetic by now and insisting his present was really good while frerin was looking pissed, but hey, they can quarrel one moment and become gay in the next, so it's no issue. ailin's got dear's present, a nike shoe bag which i thot was appropriate for all the rest. Boo's got mine which was a King's safety wear sunglass which really looks quite nice. and boo seemed pretty happy about it.hahaha...

Hail the pathetic gift wrapper

Freddy Kreuger's GF

only boo can try to look cool and end up looking like a grandma

while both me and dear got the best presents i believe we could have. bleach figurines. not just any bleach figurines but well crafted ones befitting any todd Mcfarlane's figures. absolutely power.....this followed by a mcdonalds supper and singing the night away....knowing full well that we all have a long weekend.

she didn't know wats gg to hit her

i should replace andy serkins in king kong

The wonderful gifts (well...except for one......)

U have no idea how happening this 5 can get.....

Next up, I'll try to complete the trip report for my northern malaysia down to Fraser/ Genting ride soon. will try to get the route map out if i can....I know i owe the Koh Samui one since march but i couldn't write without thinking of benny. This would have been a great year if not for the loss of one of our best friends. the picture does look a little incomplete without him. we still miss u bro....as im pretty sure the rest of the guys are.

wish u were here...

the birdie flu

I've spent my money on cars, birds and booze, the rest i squandered.

George Best 1946 - 2005

spoken by a cool looking footballer who's supposed to be on par with pele, maradona and cryuff, i really have no idea who he is except he played for ManU back in the sixties. with his long hair and sideburns that would put kareem abdul jabaar to shame, he really looks like the past era's beckham, only cooler. a moment's silence....alright den, back to why i quote this from out of nowhere...

does anyone knows what birds mean? i mean, the only time i heard it was from austin powers..

"yeah baby...check out the birds in this party" *proceeding onto a humping dance*

words do evolve dun they? the' birds' of the yesteryear's became the 'chicks' of today. nope, today's not the blog for examining wordplays. just that i thot words evolve to suit today's context more effectively, which goes to show that more guys today are actually paedophiles. using birds to describe pple is really pretty interesting. birds are supposed to be these beautiful creatures that man emulate to be, like the beautiful peacock or magnificent eagle. so i wondered what type of birds boo, yaohui and me would be. yaohui would be like this feisty fella, the golden eagle, if im not too mistaken..


charming, smart, a go-getter and incredibly athletic. he's like the american high school jock. the ichigo of bleach, the sasuke of naruto and the darth vader (anakin skywalker) of star wars. conflicted and angsty...yeah..that would describe him pretty well. thats why boo is afraid of him. why u might ask. let me show u what boo would be like if he's a bird.


yeah. i couldnt decide which was worse, so i took both. actually, he doesnt look that balding and wrinkly. actually, he's acquired taste. he might wanna call himself vintage. he wears pretty well most of the time, long sleeve-shirt and all. but like wat yaohui says, he wears that dreadful halloween mask every single farking day and scares the living hell out of the kids in his block. but he just like shrek, a nice guy overall with a dreadful habit of coming really really late when we're supposed to meet but i always try to forgive him because of that face.

me? im not actually that cool like what yaohui says. im just more laidback. so i like to be this....


it's called the snowy owl or something. I'll be in the wild all day, looking all around me without turning my body and eat rabbits for supper. i fly around silently, without the attention of the stupid rabbits and eat them. how cool. and of course, my babe would be like this....


the ever graceful swan. elegant, independant yet snappy at the same time. she'll be game enuff to fly around the world if she wanted to. these pics were taken last weekend at the birdpark cos xj's company got free tixs to the birdpark and zoo for being corporate members. seems like the zoo would have to wait since the dumbass tv station is taking up most of her free and wrking time.

speaking of which, do vote for her only if u think she's worthy of it. otherwise, u'll be better off saving up all those money to treat us some erdinger and hotdogs. those money grubbing fellas over at the tv station just want ur money since the voting system is pretty useless in this show anyway. and besides, i cant wait for her to get out of the show cos since she's already met her objective of meeting the milkman (milk brother is more technically correct, but it just sounds stupid), she really doesnt feel motivated to stay on anyway. and oh, since many pple are gg to know abt her blog, she probably aint gg to do that for a while, i fanthom.

the loss of privacy is really a stick in the ass. the blogs are meant for the few of us while the rest of the internety world would prob stick her heads once in a while to see how the fark these pple are. but since she's in the public eye, every single thing she says is prob gg to get scrutinised, so saying using handicapped toilets is alright becomes a no no. wats the use of freedom of speech if every uptight dickhead takes offence at something u say?

so yeah...dun vote for her unless u feel rich cos we all know what she can do (ie host well given the loads of confidence she has in front of people). in any way, u'll be better off buying us the beer after the show. and dun bother asking her to host any of ur wedding dinners unless ur close frens. otherwise, just prepare a big angbao for her first...

oh yeah, i decided since that night we went drinking that my best friend would be a dog or something. so i can have immortality without the guilt. haw haw haw.....

my second best friends

i really have some farking amazing friends...

it's been some time since i've met old friends (i really mean older than me..hahah) and when i do, it usually is full of old times and crap. and dun we enjoy it all....

it's been a pretty hot debate over this particularly probing questionaire which sorta decides for u which sci-fi character best suits ur personality. boo doesnt know who raistlin is, but as always, he doesnt seem to know anything except training that right hand of his.

now imagine, if u had the chance to gain immortality but had to kill off ur best friend for it, would you do it?

both me and boo said " no way" while yh, being raistlin, said yes, of course. boo, obviously being touchy, chided yh for having such thots. (yeah, he's a SNAG)

and naturally yh (frerin) came up with a thesis on the advantages of having immortality, which would leave a lot of pple nodding their heads in agreement. and he's probably right. i wouldnt kill my best friend cos i think it's morally wrong. and im not sure i wanna live so long. i didnt watch the date with a vampire show, so i dun know if the media is really brainwashing abt immortality.

as for me, immortality holds no appeal to me. the reason is very tantrically simple. i believe in reincarnation and the afterworld. i believe in the existence of ghosts. so as far as im concerned, i dun have to kill off my best friend to gain immortality since we are all gg to be living in this world in one form or another (i thot i was reincarnation of john lennon, but my parents preferred kenny rogers, blah!). but i would probably fight for my life cos i wanna remain human for as long as i can. (cos only humans and dolphins have sex for pleasure while pigs have the longest orgasm in the animal kingdom)

and so, boo talked about wat would happen if we are placed in a battle royale situtation. both, instinctively, want to kill each other first, since they know each other so well. but wat the farkadodo...i rather we just gang up on the goons who did this stupid thing in the first place. politics just aint my thing. i just cant be bothered with allying with someone else when i know in the end, one of us is gonna die in the first place. lets just say i only think of the best case scenario.

now, this reminds me. wyman asked boo once..if u ever had the chance, would u have sex with herbert or Ms Teo? (imagine a skinnier ruhua with pock marked face, garishly hideous lipstick, purple/ blue eyeliner/ mascara?, super 'rosy' cheeks.....)

inadvertably, boo only had one choice....he rather poke a guy's bum. gay.

losing my first time.................................again

this hiatus really comes good in the end....coming out of a self created depression the past few weeks gives me the energy to carry on with my everyday life such as writing more shit to entertain u morons. it helped that more morons are writing something into theirs as well...from pathetic attempts to disassociate with his sex-crazed side in the internet to one feeling high from studying for the exams. like i said, this hiatus of sorts really comes off well for the 3 stooges.

first up, ya lah fark...i've given my support ah..muahaha...cos i also wanna brag my gf in the final 16? haha...cheebois. but one thing this period of time has taught me is that behind the glamour world of TV lies the fugly aspects of pple's characters. details? i'll prob spit it out after mabbe 5 pints of beers in hall 6. kekek....

but seriously, dun vote for her if she's no good at all. cos both of us want it to end fairly quickly u know. she's sick of the ugliness behind the cameras and to tell yer the truth, im disgusted. and to think the station wants to play it up even more by introducing a system where the contestants can vote out another person openly?! (apparently to get pple to watch)

yup. another reason why i dun watch tv anymore except tong xin yuan (cos i have dinner then), discovery channel (learn new things everyday), animal planet (for animal mating scenes) and im sure, a playboy channel if it ever gets into the sing-a-pore. (for educational purposes)
the stations just need to get unsuspecting contestants to join and create drama by introducing stupid judging formats ala Survivor. for free. i just feel sorry for my dear for them to come up with this shit. they shd just leave the bitching to the real life, like blogs.

the last few posts by boo and frerin are damn farking funny. why? cos boo is trying desperately to hide his inner self but fails hideously with sentences like

"I love you all.

WHAT? WTF?

Yah. See? Don't take me too seriously.

I only love some of you. Hahahaha"

he's the only person who can become lamer than me..and it's pretty tough considering the lamer talent i am. so R-E-S-P-E-C-T dude.

and yh is ditching his cool fark care look to get high from studying and deciding to feel sad if he got lousy grades. the only time i saw him studying was during A levels and im not sure if he was getting high. i think PE is good for him dats y.

another interesting addition to his blog is this character reference where they decide what character u are after like 10 questions? interestingly, he's raistlin. which pretty much fits him to the T, since he's prone to doing things his way and is smart, cunning and full of thots. i think boo would be gollum since he's got two sides to him. one is a sex crazed paedophile who studies the human anatomy, giving kisses to all his friends and recites the kamasutra to bed while the other is his self righteous self being the big brother to every single mofo he befriends.

i always secretly hope im darth vader..bad on the surface but good hearted at the core. turns out im elrond, the last of the High Elves. not a bad deal, considering gollum was one of the possible characters..hahah

i just realised i may have been typing some rubbish...but hey..take all with a pinch of salt..cos im stoning on a tiger classic and gin tonic. i can never be as funny as boo so dude, please give us more of ur stories of ur screwed up life. ur my only reality tv. if all else fails, both me and yh agree, u just gotta wank on....

to be or not to be....

I have always prided myself as a realist among the sea of idealists. it would not surprise u that my political party of choice would have to be the PAP. this side of me has always reared its head whenever i face difficult and possibly life altering decisions like the selection of university course (of which i ain't too happy about after leaving school).

of late, there were good times and really no bad ones like the amazing oktoberfest, the breezy sunday ride and the company of good friends. but good times can turn into a head splitting dilemma when faced with a choice and once again, the realist in me begins its influence.

the dilemma wasn't on me but it's important in my heart to say the least. im amazed at the number of idealists when times are good and how much they care for the only the short term. perhaps they do not know my baby enuff, to know what type of stresses and limitations she faces every single day. undue stresses to compete for no particular reason really misses the point and thankfully, she knows it. if one is not pandering to the objectives of the competition, then it would be, like what engineers would say, redundant. it may even serve to do more harm than good.

i was not always a pessimistic realist. i started out a highly optimistic idealist in my early years which served the innocence of youth well. but a strong country is not built on optimistic idealism,(look at the soviet union and pre world war china) but on pragmatic foundations and realistic decisions made.

hindsight is a luxury that only history can afford. the present would have to make decisions which may prove unpopular and disruptive, but the realist in me assures my girl that her pathway to her future is wall paved. a hard to accept and painful decision, but nonetheless, a more realistic option than living a dream which is what yin is to yang.

granted that im not the best of decision makers (knowing my influence in my girl and still wondering why i chose this uni course in the first place), i do think that was the wise decision.

and i do believe that in her heart (being the engineer she is), she thinks the same way too......

of eternal rest and beer.....

ever since the dumb ass nose 'procedure', i've been forced to spend money for all the non planned reasons. the windshield, my tires, paying off the nose welder, my headlight protector which fell off the bike for no apparent reason, my insurance which i had assumed erroneously to be paid only at the end of the year and the stupidity of the bike crashing into the car door. and i haven counted my planned ones, like the camera, a new horn, the suspension and the clutch plates of the bike which could happen at any time since the middle of this year.

and im worrying about my workload given that my senior is leaving for his reservist for 2 full weeks, leaving me, the 3 months old QS, to handle 2 concurrent projects on my own straight from the beginning. talk abt being thrown into the deep end. and i've just taken up a project to commemerate the 1st anniversary of the group of which i hadn't had the time to think about since the last meeting.

but u know wat? things are only just becoming better.....and it starts with liverpool winning this weekend..ahhh..the power of positive thinking....................................and beer.

the car door shd cost only about 700 plus . even more luckily, the 'victim' of my bike's anger is a nice angmoh who wasn't really pissed his door sunk in by virtue for being there and even offered to settle the repairs with the insurance company and not to bother me. there isn't anyone who is this good to have an accident with.

early november rain to wash away the pain,
of memories and worries we are to have lain.
Open ur hearts, laugh and rejoice,
despair not in doom for u have a choice.
demons play in ur mind with lies,
angels plead in ur heart with their cries.
fret not for here there is always rest,
if not there is the annual oktoberfest!

dedicated to the suicidal peeps of whom i've been hearing abt lately..not that they will end up here. i rather they drink to death with beer and sausages den eyeballs and blood in the void deck.

and yes! oktoberfest is here! and i'll be at china square for more hotdogs and erdinger..


....nothing goes better with beer, sausages, my babe and great company.

the pulau of ubin

this is my version of a nice evening supper just before bed....


and i didn't strike he 4D my bike deserved...someone up there isn't doing his work.

it was, however, his work that the rain did finally decide to stop after we finished just rented our bicycles...at a supposed discounted rate for rainy day of 6 bucks. breakfast of nasi lemak at the transexual haven of changi village was pretty much normal (nasi lemak is overrated in my humble opinion...the boon lay stall serves better) and worries of having a great day at changi village instead of ubin quickly evaporated as i adamantly want to go in despite the crappy weather and my absent-mindedness in bring the bloody lens filter. i think they just want assurance that everyone of us in our little group were prepared for anything.

i really enjoy going out for this sort of trips with larry and tricia. not many pple (couples actually) would be like me and rach to wanna go ride a bicycle in a downpour, risking crashing, taking pictures while riding and doing more dumb things in the name of experiment and adventure.

each of us had a camera and i thot (at the end of the day) how great that is, so that we would know each other's perspective of the day we just had. but one thing im pretty sure all felt was that it was quite a crackling good time with all the slopes to climb, great rear brakes to do "drifting", giant mosquitoes, ants and condemning the gay couple swimming in the quarry.

let the good times roll.....

my biAtch....

yesterday was the day my girl became a grown up lady...















yep..dats right..she has broken out of puberty into a full grown busty bike from 99999km to 100000km....how can one resist such charms when my babe has got......

a nice butt for me to caress and squeeze......


two full and busty boobs for me to pull down the bra....

being so horny that she can be really loud at times....

is always so well lubricated that she performs up to my expectations most of the time...

and i'll leave her out in the open if she doesn't listen to me....and most impt of all....

she enjoys threesomes with me and my other baby....

what more can i ask for? a million km may require abt 10 years of riding....but she has already grown into my big bad biatch......

but she decided to retaliate at me for leaving her out in the open the other day by stubbing on my feet .....and fell over to an innocent car who happened to witness the shit...
and decided to hurt herself to punish me...

now...i have to buy her new lingerie to please her...ended up walking with a stupid limp....and sweating over the cost of the freaking car door....but i still love her....dats for being my biAtch..
ironically, i bought 4d on my bike number b4 this shit happens....i hope for the best......

4 - 1 to the living dead

...... and so liverpool has lost big time to chelsea and they can farking brag that into my ears..so what's new? the fact that i wasn't too pissed.

now, there are a few reasons and the prime one at that was the chicken chop rice, guinness and heinken bottles that went along with the match, and talking cock along the way with boo. it really is simple pleasures at its best.

the other was that liverpool simply sucked at attack. granted that i was more than annoyed when drogba went down artistically when being pinched on his backside, i was in awe of his graceful skills for the second goal. in all, chelsea attacked better and deserved it. i was just like the man the cameras managed to catch on tv. heads in the hands and red in the face. it does seem that only the combined strength of ManUre and the Pool can challenge the rouble-infested london team. farkers. it helped that the 'stadium' (read: kopitiam) that i went to catch the match was full of myanmese/ burmese kop faithfuls and the disappointment was equally shared among all. you'll never walk alone.

on to crappier things, if u intend to watch corpse bride, then dun read on. if u do, i bet most of you would think the script was written by me. i mean, if hollywood could come up with dialogue like that, i think i would be a fantastic talent for time burton's movies. if u managed to read to this point, ur either watched it or not intending to. anyway, just for those who dun, it's about a corpse bride. brilliant isn't it?

in case ur thinking i hate the show, u cldn't be more mistaken. it's good, macabre, sicko fun in a weird way. tim burton's shows are always weird. sorta like cinderella set in hell. the horses carrying the carriage are probably horse skeletons, the prince is probably a chubby man with his intestines hanging out by the slit in his belly.

this love story is corny in the dialogue to the max. imagine this...

1) the main character and characteress who are supposed to marrying each other are victor and victoria.* enter mr chimpanzee clapping his idiotic clap over his head *oh oh oh oh .....

2) black widowspider: ah victor, you are supposed to be married to emily (to whom he accidently practised his wedding vows on, causing emily to bring him to the land of the dead, like in bleach)

victor: oh yes i am, but i dun want to....

black widow: den how abt marrying me? im a widow...* enter ah meng* oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ....

3) maggot living in emily's head consoling emily when she found that victor doesn't love her ( ghosts are depicted in blue in the movie) : my my, u are looking blue...... * enter boo * oh oh oh oh oh oh oh .....

i believe there are a few more but i couldn't catch them in their quick victorian speeches. much as the dialogue was corny, i was enjoying them and laffing out loud...while the crowd were either lost in the speeches or just too cultured to enjoy them. for starters, i would probably name the characters lucifer and lucy. pretty good for a show with dead things, aint it? i would make the ghosts green in colour..and the whiny maggot could say something like: "OOohhh....are we green with envy?" to the dejected lucy.

looking at all the shit i have written, i think the guiness has gotten to me. but i wouldn't mind a job as a scriptwriter. to all yer hollywood scouts, u know how to contact me. and oh, i would prefer to work from home with plenty of time to tour and loose deadlines for me to plan my corniess. and i would like to be known in the industry as korny kenny.....

ah fark, i need the bed. farking chelsea. ,,i,,

beauty is temporary

Some things are best experienced.. like riding thru the most beautiful rainbow i have ever seen in my entire life.....

it's like those those full bodied, sharply defined rainbow icons u see in msn messenger..only it's about 1 km wide, with a full arc and a base like the length of a bus. the colours are so rich, it's almost tantric..buddha must have seen this before he gained his enlightenment

wat makes it so special is the fleeting glances and teases we had when we first started out from the petrol station. a quarter arc, but still thin and weak in colours in the bright sunshine slowly gaining in strength. and yet, we were riding into a storm. even then, thots of stopping to get the camera out reigned but for the sake of group integrity. when we finally did stop for the rain pants to come out, the rain was slashing down with almost 3/4 of an arc in view. the picture we managed to get doesn't do justice to its beauty. and the rain made capturing it hard.

feeling almost disappointed on missing out such a phenomenon, we trudged on and down a slope... and then the full arc presented itself on a panoramic scale. far to the west of the highway, tall trees nestle the foot of the rainbow while the other end of the rainbow starts from the tarmac of the north south highway. strong beams of sunlight thru the looming clouds contrasted as the vein of colours became ever so defined, seeing all 7 colours so clearly marked for the first time in my life. perhaps some things can never be captured... amazingly, a second rainbow curves over the main one and as i rode thru, half expecting a pot of gold, it was over.

another contrast to the contradicting beauty of the rainbow.........




...and screw the wanker who said there's gold at the foot of every rainbow.

pubicus sinusucla

sometimes, it's really nice to hear abt pple talk abt u.....

http://southernoise.blogspot.com/2004_06_01_southernoise_archive.html

look under fraser hill...

im more photopubic than photogenic......but it's wat pple think if u that matters...

man, more bragging rights...

the pathway to nirvana

life is good after a run, 5 cheese sausages and a gin tonic to perk up the night.

today, somebody asked me, "what do you want in life?" without a thought, i said, "spiritual contentment.."

now all you farkheads must be gg, " awww, nabei, ..kenny acting cheem again.." while giving me the finger...

haha...but really, i dun mean going to the temple every sunday in a weak attempt to gain enlightenment or nirvana or something like dat, or even the achievement of the spiritual tantric orgasm..

in my mind, spiritual contentment is seeing, experiencing and thoroughly enjoying every moment as i ride through the vast expanse of Mongolia, the scorching deserts of the Africa nations, the ranges of New Zealand and the choking polluted city of kolkatta. (ok, the last one is a lame joke)

as long as im doing the things i enjoy with great company, esp my beautiful girl, i cannot ask for more. taking walks with cameras in tow, riding the NS highway with the early morning breeze, experiencing the sunset in langkawi, climbing the twisties of fraser hill, swimming in the clear waters of koh samui, having a beer in geographer's cafe in sweltering lunch time heat in malacca.......

man, i gotta love my life.....

sadly, most of the time , im stuck in the office, earning the money to make it happen....farking reality...

nasal probe

let me give u a scenario: imagine u have a real farking splitting headache with tons of work left to complete and having the shivers. u rummage ard and wat u find is panadol. panadol is fine, but wat if it's panadol menstrual? can a guy pop a couple of panadol menstrual to ease the pain and suffering and not have any side effects? i mean, they are all painkillers right? unless the menstrual tablet has a mechanism which targets the pains of female cramps, im pretty sure the guy can take it.

this scenario was discussed at length in my office cubicle abt a month ago and i thot mabbe the guy would start having the time of the month too....from his nose. yeah, we laughed and all. den one day i was blowing my nose, and all i saw was blood. lots of it. yeah, i was reaching puberty at last. in the space of 4 months, i had abt 4 or 5 bleeds and this was worrying me slightly cos we all saw the MTV for "tong hua", haven't we. dear was so worried on sat when i started bleeding, eating my fav fishballs, that i was pulled by the ear to see the doc at night. the bleeding doc cldn't see any shit and so charged me 37 bucks and referred me to a specialist in gleaneagles to have a nasal probe. (big mistake: at least it wasn't the other probe in the other hole)

and so the appt was fixed on tues morning (today) and the doc assured me the cost of the probe would be abt 100 odd and i can see my inner nose as the probe goes in. how very nice, indeed.
as soon as the doc saw my ears and nose superficially, i was sprayed some anasthetic in my nose passage to prepare for the invasion of my nose. the dripping anasthetic didn't smell nor tasted good as it dripped into my throat but the numbness soon overwhelmed the nauseous feeling and the feeling of drunkeness struck. as soon as i went into the "probing" room, there were 2 tvs with my name etched in beautiful prints headlining the tv image. having seen the steel probing device the doc was carrying, i felt prepared for my virginal probe. wasn't too bad actually, no pain but its feel quite uncomfortable having something gg so deep into the nose and ending up into my throat. the image of my nose and epigolottis (thanks dear), as the probe went deeper, moving in regular harmony had me spellbound at the beautiful state of my nose.

the probe was instructed so that they can verify that there wasn't any "cancerous" growth up the nose and throat and having said the word "cancer" didn't calm me down a bit. so u can imagine my relief when i saw the pink healthy state of the nose.

<>
yeah, looks like an arse isn't it? i didn't know i had one up my nose. anyway, the small rupture in the right nasal passage can be seen on the top left pic while the the right one shows the left nasal (free of growth!) the other two are pics of the easophagus (the throat) they didnt snap the nasal hair though i thought they looked rather nicely curled.

having decided that there was a rupture, the doc and the nurse immediately set off on a "procedure" or operation to "weld" the bleeding point. they are gg to use electricity to somehow burn the bugger to bits or something and den another round of anasthetic, this time a cotton wool stuck in my nose and i really felt my right side of the face gg numb after a few minutes.

when the doc came in, it was over in just 20 seconds. i felt some jolts in my nose and some electric effect, and dat was it. no fuss, no nothing. damn i sworn i could have done it myself. as soon as i got out, i was already thinking how much these procedures are gonna cost. i thot mabbe 200 to 300 cos of the extra procedure. hoping for the best in one second, i wallow in failure the next.

the bill came up to a whopping $614.33! 160 for the ENT endoscopy and 330 for the electric cautery. 85 for the consultation and the rest is freaking GST. i only thot of gg home to sleep this bad shit over, but i had loads of work to do. i dun even have the mood to eat my "fav yu pian tang" back in my neighbourhood, preferring to bury myself in work to get it off my mind. bloody hell, really truly brokenthis time. first the bike, den the camera now the unwanted piece of shit.

at least the day ended on a higher note with my company's bowling tournament. today's the first round and teams of 3 guys and 2 females compete in a best of 3 games out of six scoreline. our team (HQ B team) played pretty well in the first two games moving to 9th out of 16. (top 8 qualify for the finals.) then the 3rd game sucked. 3 more games await in the following week to kick ass again.

HQ teams A,B,C..well..at least some of them...

after the whole day, the only consolation is that i only lost my nasal virginity and not the anal one. (i intend to keep it that way, thank you very much)

and oh, i still dunno whether it's fine to take panadol menstrual. but i dun think i wanna try in case i get it 4 times in a month again.....

signing off.........................................

cameras and monday blues

yeah man...yesterday i finally got something i really wanted for a pretty long time. a heavy and macho looking digital camera which passes off as an SLR. hahaha...in fact, the bigger and more macho looking it is, i more desirable it became. but really, i was looking for the konica minolta z5 or z6.

alan photo was a shop recommended by 3 separate pple on different occasions. the name just pops out like it's THE place for digital imagery products. and boy, i dun think u can get any better than the talk i had with the saleman over the cameras. haggling with bike mechanics and dealings with the sales pple in the past gets me sick and tired of them. some farkers just give u the middle finger look on their farking face and pisses me off while those uncles with the classic "can i help phew?" phrase are just plain lazy and cant be bothered selling u anything.
i just need someone to help me do comparisons and give valid suggestions and alternatives. for one, my suspicions will surely be aroused in me when you promote a product as though it is flawless. cynical me would think that that camera prob sucks and is prob more expensive than the better ones. (which is usually true)

so it was a welcome surprise to get a comparison straightaway without me asking them. and showed me in which areas were which cameras better and a live demonstration of the comparisons done in front of me. in the end, a cheaper but definitely more powerful alternative was put across to me. really impressive if u ask me...but mabbe im just used to poor service. wat else do u expect in singapore?

anyways, the camera spent much of the time in my room snapping away at my spawn collection and other figureines. and i really put it to good use for the dinner ride today to kong kong. abt 150km travelled in the trunks i reckon, but the company was really quite good. as u would suspect, many were my subjects for the photos as was dear's casio exilim.

the pics and trip report would probably be up by the end of the week...as soon as i get some shut eye...damn, another week of shit especially when the farking architects cannot make up their fickle minds.......at least there's the next weekend to look forward to...

the morning rat race

Im in the office and i haven done a single fark thing since 9am. only searching for info for a fly-ride-fly trip to cambodia which i hope can be done by next year. also went to search for info on the konica minolta z6 cos im in love with it and also a new pair of rear suspension.

everything seemed to revolve around buying. man, i wish i hit 4D...speaking of which..today is wed, a chance to buy hope. dear has been going ard taking pictures and im farking jealous. makes me so wanna get out and get a camera to snap too. my black mood isn't helped by the fact i have to take the bus to get my bike tonight.

i was so disturbed by taking the bus this morning i felt nauseous. the hot, humid and still air around the bus-stop didn't help matters, only serving to irritate the hell out of me. thank god for air-conditioners. i mean the ladies were flapping themselves with their tiny ezlink cards!

the bus ride was worse with rowdy school kids on holidays making a big din on the bus. at least the bus wasn't packed nor were there any fat farkers out to squeeze the hell out of my seat. things only got better when i whipped out my new paperback on ewan mcgregor and pal's rtw trip to read.

makes me long for paradisical beaches even more......spending long mornings wallowing in the beach with a good book.... idyllic rides into the minor roads exploring ancient temples...boat rides to mesmerizing bays...

ahh...krabi, i yearn for thee...

the american idol

this is a special event that warrants a blog of its own. i finally met my idol...he's to me what britney spears is to lonely wankers. i was nervous for the whole day actually, anticipating what is gg to happen when i finally DO meet the man and what i was gg to say and stuff. As the day wore on, my spirits lifted as they never had before on a dreary monday.

the ride there was filled both with child like glee and trepidation. how was i to make conversation with a man who writes such brilliant journals on his rides? am i fit to even talk to him? M technik (an adventure bike shop) came round pretty quickly. That's where eris is preparing to strip down the bike to reach the rear shocks. looking around, i see no sign of the big man. (at least he looks big in his photo galleries.) a pretty excited eris told me murphy and him went for dinner downstairs at a kopitiam while he prepares his surgical tools for the strip down. i look on at the legendary bike. Fully touratech fitted fuel tank and the werks on the piece of german technology all crammed into the mass of metal bringing this lonely gentleman all the way from california till now in Singapore.

Soon after, a elderly chap called robin joined in asking us where the viking was. He claimed to be a huge fan, reading his journals from the beginning and like me, was filled with wonder at his choice of words in orchestrating a piece of literary magic. but it became soon evident that he was full really getting TOO excited and was practically brisk-walking when i led him to the coffee shop.

then, i caught a glimpse and then 2...and without a doubt, here was the giant that led us thru a journey we never set out from. sitting cross legged and mouthing a plate of duck rice, he gave firm handshakes and off robin went, tooting away on how he is a humongous fan blah blah blah.....i was introduced by murphy as the guy who introduced his webbie to the vara riders and a wide grin broke out from him. to be appreciated by my idol really feels very good indeed .the only other idol who grinned at me is my godzilla figurine.

indeed, he is exactly wat i envisioned. about 2m tall with a build of a body builder, wearing huge boots and slacks (from my fav brand as well, columbia trailwear) and as usual, the "guilty" t shirt. speaking as he wolfed down his second plate of duck meat, he talked about how beautiful singapore is. actually anything is beautiful if u have spent the last month riding and camoing in the borneo jungles attacked by aggressive mosquitoes and bogged by the heavy damp air of the jungle.

there was another caucasian at the table, nikolas. a balding chap with a thick german accent, i found out he was from greece, educated in germany and is a project director for starhub in implementing the digitisation of its cable services. he also happens to be the owner of the 1150 GS with the china flag proudly displayed on its beak. for the uninitialiated, it usually means that they have conquered that country if a flag is displayed on the bike. It also usually means that that is a dream that they have had ever since they were hooked on motorcycle touring.

for such a busy person to have the chance to go for such long trips, im amazed at how singaporeans go to handling expats. with too much respect and too much leave. anyway, i thought he had a blessed life. having rode from euope to north africa and toured much of europe, he has gone thru much of wat i can only dream of.

so he and robin started exchanging stories of laos, cambodia and thailand routes and roads. and i listened with pricked ears for bits of info which may prove to be helpful in the future. afterall, thats what i was there for. it's quite amazing what a similar hobby such as the love for the ride outdoors can do....a project director speaking abt his passion with a lab technician and a newly graduated student.

back at m-technik, eris was almost done and glen was amazed at how fast he stripped the bike. i really felt proud that eris was acknowledged and having heard glen described singapore in such glowing terms earlier, i felt the urge to stand up and sing majula singapura. eris hoped to be a BMW certified mechanic one day and a testimonial from a BMW sponsored guy could only help by leaps and bounds.

the meet couldn't have ended better. we took a couple of pictures and i had one with him and my bike...man, i really REALLY felt so damn happy.

anyway, he's also a pretty horny guy, staying up in a geylang hotel after spending a night at murphy's, but this all adds up to spicy reading on his journals about his romances. if thats the right word.

nothing could spoil this day man. not even taking the mrt back after depositing the bike at rosli's could wipe that smile off my face. wat a day!

life has only started after u start your trip....

more pics of him, me and my bike soon...

another ordinary week....

i noticed a rise in the number of pple checking this out every sunday..man, have i become so predictable? lets recap, i got a heineken on my table, just came back from a run and am bloggin. holy fark. soon, i'll have a belly and start farting for fun.

monday was spent at rosli's again...my mechanic if ur in the dark. spent the whole night locating and fixing up the reason for my vara's choking. and worse still, one of the spark plug is misfiring. anyway, fixed it up temporarily and round two of public transport is coming up tmr. i miss the bike b4 i even lose it.

striking viking is in town too! he's one of my online idols in the motorcycling world. He's in a round the world (RTW) trip with a BMW 650 Dakar fitted for a round the world ordeal. he's just finished rounding up Borneo and is the first person to do it in a motorcycle..Congrats! I hope i can see him tmr. My frens are already in touch with him and one of them is stripping his bike for servicing tmr. i hope i can make it there b4 i go to rosli's.

he really writes very darn well and notes, with wide eyed curiousity and comprehension of an american out for the truth, all the social and political commentary of lands he visited. The described the smells and and sights of India so well that i can imagine myself vividly there. his understanding of the jews and palestinians locked in battle during his visits also showed why the media at large are greatly exaggerating and pulling opinions of the americans towards a dangerously patriotic display of power over the region. and hilariously describing smiling and overtly curious pakistanis poring over his bike in the villages and cities as militants mauling him and his beast.
in short, he's one of the reasons why i yearn to be a motorcycle adventure travel writer. looking at my past blogs, i think i might have a better chance in my next life.

...home is where the front of my wheel is - Striking Viking

if ur really interested in his journals, his webbie is www.strikingviking.net. or check out the rides section in www.adventurerider.com.

another major event is the SAJC alumni dinner yesterday. i initially didn't wanna go cos it's really expensive but im glad i did. it's great to see all the past teachers again. some change, some become hipper, some became principals but all are still as dedicated to teaching as they were 7 years back. wats more, it great to see old pals and the bloody goondus we spent 2 years of our transitional adulthood times with. and oh, the food sucks.

the clowns in us were wondering if the drink stall auntie and the black bra auntie were also there and where the hell marimuthu was. we wanted to see if the hair coming out his ears reached the ground by now. and boo, winny, ashtray and yh went to fulfil their teenage dream by smoking at the jacob ballast area..muahahaha...

a pity stefanie sun and JJ lin wasn't there although i saw junyang from the superstar show. man, one heineken really has no effect at all...mabbe it's time for another......